I got a message from a female friend about "the nine words (phrases) that woman say". I got about half way through it when I realized this lenghty testimony to woman had to have been thought up by a man! It was so dead-on perfect!
One of the things "go ahead".
A friend of mine wanted US (Meaning Diane and I), to take a ride in a Limo. She said, and I quote: "You "go ahead". I want to finish cleaning." I didn't read the fine print, so I went. Four hours later my wife found us at the VFW, after about four other bars, and I was in great troubled waters!
"Why!" I said, "you told me to "go ahead"!" She took out the "nine things that woman say, and showed me the fine print.

There it was, in black and white- #4: "Go ahead. This is a dare, not permission, Don't do it!"

Now, when Diane says "go ahead", I must weigh the consequences. Will it be a sexual neglect, burnt food, or just that irritating stone cold silence! Oh, woe unto man. I wonder if this was in the original (God's) contract between woman and man? I will post this "nine".
Some are so, hilariously, right that I didn't know whether to laugh or cry! Just kidding
I quote:

9 WORDS WOMEN USE

(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to (the hell) shut up.

(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game (hey, that last five minutes IS the game!) before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine. (so, "go ahead")

(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It! (I kept telling everybody-"she said go ahead, she said go ahead!")

(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often (often?) misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That's Okay: (a derivitive of "go ahead") This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake. (Oh, woe unto men!)

(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' ... that will bring on a 'whatever').

(8) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying ____ YOU! (Oh please, _____me!)

(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.

I love this! It's so, painfully true.
Joe