Now, this is pretty nasty, but hey, the Dixie Chicks were gonna kill Earl! They started this shit so don't blame me! Anyway, I wrote a nice country song for you folks. I love this shit!
I’ve never been what you would call lucky
I ian’t never pulled an Ace from the pile
but the day that I first saw you,
I thought my losin’ was through
I could see it in your sweet toothless smile
it’s been a while since I been workin’
I need some money to make me stay that way
you’re workin’ hard and that’s so fine
and at night you’re doin’ mine
the way you go just blows my night away
Oh, I coulda’ stayed a serial killer
I was seein’ the country, at least I was free
when you got your big mouth
around my baby, wow!
I couldn’t ask for more than you for me!
but now things have gone bad in our little love nest
you complain about me sittin’ round all day
baby if you don’t stop
I’ll get a knife and chop
you into pieces and flush your ass away
I never been the kind a guy to complain
about my woman bitchin’ to her man
I got the carpet here
to roll your body dear
you’ll be lookin’ at the walls of my Chevy van!
Oh, I coulda’ stayed a serial killer
I was seein’ the country, at least I was free
I’m tired of your big mouth
I’ll send you way down south
what’s gonna kill you babe, is killin’ me!
So, what do you think? Do I have a hit?
Will Tobie Keith like it? I need some damn money!
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You need a snappy title for the song such as "What's Killin' You, Babe, Is Killin' Me."
Get a catchy title, and you may have a hit on your hands.
"Goodbye My Toothless One."
*winks*
I'd be pleased to revive an old has-been's career.
It's a service I've decided to provide. Hell, I'll
be happy if Grandpa Jones wants the song.
Wait aminute! Granpa Jones was shot years ago, he's ded isn't he?
Hank Williams? No, car crash-Hey, his kid, what's his name? Oh,
Hank Williams Jr! Oh yeah, he's a brawler, and a rocker!
I'll get someone to take it. It's a sure fire hit!
How about you, Anexplorer. Wanna make a million dollars? You
got it!
Joe
I'd be pleased to revive an old has-been's career.
It's a service I've decided to provide. Hell, I'll
be happy if Grandpa Jones wants the song.
Wait aminute! Granpa Jones was shot years ago, he's ded isn't he?
Hank Williams? No, car crash-Hey, his kid, what's his name? Oh,
Hank Williams Jr! Oh yeah, he's a brawler, and a rocker!
I'll get someone to take it. It's a sure fire hit!
How about you, Anexplorer. Wanna make a million dollars? You
got it!
Joe
I'd be pleased to revive an old has-been's career.
It's a service I've decided to provide. Hell, I'll
be happy if Grandpa Jones wants the song.
Wait aminute! Granpa Jones was shot years ago, he's ded isn't he?
Hank Williams? No, car crash-Hey, his kid, what's his name? Oh,
Hank Williams Jr! Oh yeah, he's a brawler, and a rocker!
I'll get someone to take it. It's a sure fire hit!
How about you, Anexplorer. Wanna make a million dollars? You
got it!
Joe
White trash! White trash! why I'm insulted!
This wass a literary effort of great magnitude!
I worked long and hard on this one. I am building
quite a library of cool hits. I haven't seen any interest,
But who could resist my other great hit,
"Why can't I get under your underwear?" I mean that
was a real tear-jerker!
Thanks for your support in my in career efforts,
Joe
And i think you are right. Every country sawng
has to have certain lines in it about drinkin',
about anger, love, love lost. I don't think
anybody's ever written a song about a serial
killer. And I think serial killers need a voice
too. They're people with feelings. They have problems
just like the rest of us. They need a messenger,
and I'm going to be their calling!
I had tears in my eyes when I wrote this country sawng!
I hope you like it,
Joe
I just got a message from the ASCA,
the American Serial Killer Association,
that's the Serial Killer's Union.
They don't like what I wrote and are
threatening to sue me. Do you believe it?
A guy can't even write a good ole country
sawng anymore without some butt hole gettin'
all angry and stuff!
June, can you sing? We could change the words
around to fit a woman's perspective.
What do ya' think?
Joe
Yeah I'm just a simple guy tryin' to make his way
through a hostile world. Ya' know, we have these
things that arise, and country sawngs are all about
our problems. Serial killers have problems too, ya'
know.
I think I'll write some more a' them sawngs.
I love country music. I drink, I like trucks, I been
in jail, I had a Momma. That's all I need.
Joe
Damn, I thought I had a unique subject.
Somebody already wrote about serial killers?
How about a song about a rapist? I need a
female partner in this song writing. Maybe
we can get a woman's perspective in this.
Yeah, a woman partner, that's it, that's
that's the ticket!
Joe
Hey Bell I'm just tryin' to make some money here.
The Serial Killer's Union is already on my ass
about this!
I don't think anyone will touch it now!
Joe
Yeah, that could be the title. I'll
just put "blues" onthe snd of it.
"What's killin' you baby, is killin' me blues"
Yeah, all right! I'm in business.
Joe
I know how we can decipher the truly
'hit' this song presents.
American Idol is collecting original
songs for the singers to sing for the
final song.
Submit yours, its quite a "hit".
*winks*
got it!"
Only if you play the fiddle and sing backup.
You don't know how funny that is.
if I had a million, I'd just spend it!
American Idol? Oooh, I don't think they'd
like my ideas.
Joe
and when we play your songs back we get the truck back, the wife back, the horse back
"Lookin' at the walls of my Chevy"
"I'll get a knife & chop you to pieces"
"I'll flush your ass away"
"Shut your toothless mouth bitch or I'm gonna kill you!"
Are those titles catchy enuff?
Wonder if we should collaborate?
Bear Hugs!
PolarB ;)
Yahoooeee baby!
Joe